Takeaways from the Aaron Hernandez Story on Netflix

I binged the 3 hour docuseries which chronicles the timeline of crime in which Aaron Hernandez has been accused. It’s so compelling it’s difficult to not binge. As an avid sports fan, I can’t think of anything else other than how if I were in Aaron’s shoes I would make very different choices given the promising and lucrative career I had ahead of me. To say that is to oversimplify the situation.

I will not try to deflect or glorify Hernandez because to do so would be disrespectful to the victim(s) family. Aaron Hernandez was unequivocally a murderer of at least one man, Odin Lloyd. He was also involved with another double homicide (of which he was acquitted) as well as possibly more when he was in college at the University of Florida.

As outsiders, as fans, as parents I think we try to find the ‘why’ in people’s actions when their actions don’t align with what we would consider normal behavior. In this case we look at Hernandez’s childhood - a tumultuous household with an overbearing father who would often take anger out on Aaron’s mother, a male babysitter who sexually abused Aaron (as we find out at the end of the series) and a strained relationship with his mother stemming from what seem to be selfish endeavors on her part. We furthermore evaluate the strain that possibly having to hide his homosexuality would have on a man who plays an extremely “manly” sport as well having grown up being taught that homosexuality is shameful. Then we consider the fact that he had the worst case of CTE that has ever been identified on someone his age at his time of death, 27. Yet still with all things considered I came away from the series initially baffled at how this could happen.

Droves of athletes (and people in general) deal with troubled upbringings, secrets we don’t want anyone to know and health issues that can inhibit or skew normal brain function (for me it’s crippling anxiety). What makes someone with the whole world at the tip of their fingers, a killer?

Although it wasn’t really focused on in the docuseries, I think the X-factor here is fame and expectation. The expectation point was mildly touched on in regard to work ethic and competitiveness both at the University of Florida and within the Patriots organization but judging by Hernandez’s love for the game I don’t think that type of expectation is what triggered him. Upbringing, abuse, loss, a strained relationship with his mother, struggles with sexuality, CTE, and fame are the perfect storm. Especially jarring was the way he spoke to his mother about his cell being “cozy”. Guards also mentioned how he acclimated to prison life rather quickly. It was possibly the solitude and structure that made him feel safe from his real world problems. I didn’t come away from watching this with a sense that Aaron was inherently evil. I came away with a sense that he made evil choices because he hadn’t dealt with trauma and anger that festered inside of him. He wasn’t allowed to deal with his shit, essentially.

On another note, while I didn’t watch the series about him that was put together by the ID network, I am told that it’s stated more clearly that he was homosexual. I find it extremely unfair for this man to be outed postmortem. He is not here to live his truth and now others are telling his very personal story. Also, it seemed (the way Netflix positioned it in the series) that the sports radio hosts who joked callously about Aaron possibly being gay may have pushed him over the edge seeing that according to his lawyer Jose Baez, he seemed hopeful for an appeal just earlier that day.

Overall my takeaways are very simple and somewhat cliche. Hurt people, hurt people. It’s our jobs as parents, friends, teammates, coworkers, ect. to identify and be more careful (full of care) with people so that they are not a danger to themselves or others. Easier said than done of course in the hustle and bustle of everyday life and society’s increased obsession with our own individual self-importance.

My positive thoughts go out to the families of the victim(s) as well as the family Aaron left behind.